Told you.

Friday Wife: Demi Lovato

   Dem Dem Dem.. Another Disney girl to steal my heart. Yes this was going to be the week for Miley, but there was a little bit of a major setback. Just a little thing called getting engaged. Total bummer. But anyways, how the hell does Disney do it? They just pull in the babes like its nothing. Except Miranda Cosgrove. Ick. Back to Demi. She's total wife material and all, but what does she even do? Was that Camp Rock movie it for her? I guess all that matters in this situation is that she's hot and I am taking this time right now to propose to her. Demi, if you're reading this babe, I'm on one knee asking you to be my wife. Is this just to get back at Miley? .....no......
<3 Cody

PS. I've noticed the views come from people who type in the girls names with "boobs" at the end, so in order to get more views, here goes nothing. Demi Lovato's boobs. Demi Lovato nude. Naked girl boobs. Boobs.

Pro Pencil Sharpeners are cool.

   Professional pencil sharpener huh? Thats a real thing? Uuum bro, you can't just call yourself a professional if every child in the world can do it. If so, I've been pro for 15 years. First off, what business is going to send you a pencil and ask you to sharpen it? And I like how he says he even sends the shavings back to the client because it is a part of their pencil. No one wants that shit. If this is actually a real video and a real "job", then be happy about it Dave. You may have overspent $999.75 on all your gear, but you still have the easiest job in the world. Quit being such a stiff. God I need to quit my job and get a good profession, like a professional shoe tyer.

-Cody

Word.

   Loooong ass day at work today. 9-7:30. Blow my brains out. But today I had to do a pretty big delivery. The weird thing though is that the customer tagged along for the ride with me. Awkward as hell but he was a super nice guy. Anywho, when we pulled into his neighborhood, there was a cop in front of us pulling up on his street. He said "aw shit" and called his friends right away. All I heard him say was "I just saw the boys pull up on the street, put the clips inside." For those of you who don't know what a "clip" is, its a gun. I feel so hard.
-Cody

Miley Cyrus is engaged..

   This is one of the worst days of my life. My crush since day 1 is now engaged to Thors bro. Dammit Miley, you really know how to crush a dream. You've been dating this noob Liam for only a couple years, I've been looking at your riskay pictures for like 5 years now. Not fair. Oh well, I'll give the marriage a month or two. Then right back on the horse I go.

-C.

PS- doesn't help that I was going to do Miley as my Friday Wife this week. Psychic.

Dear Cody,

The word is 'risque'. Not 'riskay'. Good grief, you dumbass.

Sincerely,
Taylor

I forgot you even existed on this thing.

-Cdoy.

You can't even spell your name. And not really. I hate blogs. I hate life. I hate people. I hate you.

Much love,
Taylor

Fa Days.

   Taylor and I were downtown Omaha again tonight. If you didn't know, the olympic swimming trials are in Omaha. So in honor of that, some artist made this sculpture. Scary AF. Anyway I decided to be an original son of a bitch and take this picture. Tell me this thing isn't scary. Nightmares fa days. 

Friday Wife: Ariana Grande

   Sorry you guys didn't get one last week, I was busy living life and yoloing. But boy oh boy am I giving you guys a good one to make up for it. Lordy Ariana is a major babesicle. I have no idea what she does, probably an actress right? Don't really care. Anyways I think its the red hair on a mexican hipster babe that does it for me. I've seen her with her regular hair and I didn't even bat an eye. Blah city. But her hair now, wowzas. Now, after I got my girl Gabriella Cilmi to follow me on Twitter, I thought i'd try my luck with this broad. Long story short, she has a very annoying Twitter so I unfollowed her. Sorry my love.

<3 Cody